Need a doctor's excuse note? We've got you covered...

To Whom It May Concern,

Please be aware that ___________________________ will be suffering from intense bouts of headaches as a result of attending the recent  Kscope conference. This is due to the extreme amount of targeted Oracle information forcibly directed to the cranial area.

The human body is designed for a finite upper cognition limit above which adverse signals can occur. These symptoms of discomfort are expected to quickly dissipate but could last for several days as this knowledge is absorbed into his/her system. 

Additionally,  ___________________________ may spontaneously break out into periods of uncontrollable laughter as memories of the conference come flooding back. Unfortunately, this is a permanent condition and there is no known cure.

For both above conditions, we have seen some success with prescribing a long term Kscope attendance regimen. Should you want to explore this option, please contact my office.

Sincerely,
Dr. Monty Latiolais
KEO, Kscope25